o5s28

Things you don't want to hear during surgery

• Better save that. We will need it for the autopsy.
• Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!
• Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, what is that?
• Hand me that ... uh ... that uh ... that thingy there.
• Uh oh. Where is my Rolex?
• Oops ...
• Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?
• Oh shoot, there go the lights again.
• You know, there is big money in kidneys, and this guy has two of them.
• Everybody stand back. I lost my contact lens.
• Could you stop that thing from beating, it is throwing off my concentration.
• What is this doing here.
• I hate when they are missing stuff in here.
• Cool! Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?
• Well, folks, I guess this will be an experiment for all of us.
• Sterile schmerile. The floor is clean, right?
• What do you mean, he was not in for a sex change?
• Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
• This patient has already had some kids, right?
• Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?
• Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
• What do you mean, you want a divorce?
• FIRE! FIRE!! Everyone get out!
• Consarnit! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

Penelope

A knight was summoned to the Crusades. While he was gone, he decided his wife should wear a chastity belt. He locked her up and gave the key to his best friend, saying: "If I am not back in four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."

Off went the knight on his horse. A half-hour later, he sees a cloud of dust in the distance behind him. He waits until it gets closer, and now he can make out his best friend, galloping desperately to catch up. "What is wrong?" he asks.

"You fool!" gasps the friend. "You gave me the wrong key!"

posted by 05s28 @ 9:36 PM