o5s28

The inextinguishable force

I was just day dreaming, in fact, it should be night dreaming that is it against human nature to be a monk? I was wondering, how do monks actually abstain from matter of the heart. hmmm... maybe i could try it out and let you guys know... Too bad if i did, i got to be committed to it, or i would definitely try it out.

As usual, it has been a rather gloomy night. There is these tendency for me to say 'haiz' these days. I can't really help it but feel this way. Perhaps its because of the gentle reminders these days. Its been quite some time since i last felt free from this matter. But somehow, i was never. It is back now. Whether to haunt or bless i don't know. But its definitely pretty daunting.

Sometimes, I have this feeling that such matters are destinated to stay with you forever. However, its up to you or someone else to dig it up. That's perhaps why its so unforgettable, cause everytime you think you are forgetting, you are reminded. Quite scary you know. Its like a shadow following you everywhere. Unlike a kite, one cannot get rid of a shadow easily, can he? In fact, no one actually did it while he's still slightly alive. Maybe you can never forget it, but just learn to accept it. Somewhat like letting go of the past and venturing into the future.

Sometimes i feel as if i owe the person in my past life for that. At other times, i feel that i owe my next life to the person. Worse of all, I feel that the person owe her next life to me. Sound a little complex, but its simple. Very simple indeed. Have you read Harry Potter? If you have, you would know that a small little Harry had the power over a well accomplished dark wizard. This power is the very thing that explains everything.

Well, i do not know if such power is matchable by anything else or measurable to anything else. But what i feel is that it can be very selfish at times. Ironically, it is at the same time, magnanimous. Pretty chim stuff. I myself am a nobody to this topic. Lost i would say. Hope things will chuan dao qiao tou zhi ran zi....

Da Xiong...
Just realise all my post this month is more or less around this time... haha ;)...

posted by 05s28 @ 12:03 AM